worthy of the calling

'dream big. and if you know what you want, then do it.' - paraphrased wisom from albert chang.

stemming from a brief discussion with him, i realize the need to keep on refocusing my commitment this year in listening to God, and in scrutinizing myself in such a way to find where my heart really lies.

I shared about MCATs, I shared about my fears - to which he asked, are your weaknesses the ONLY thing that is keeping you from pursuing medicine?

I shared about China, plans to get there before MCATs were written, before thoughts that family HK trip might NOT happen afterall.

I shared about my desire to GO to China on a medical missions trip, and I REMEMBERED the reason why I wanted to go in the first place.

If I am to go into medicine, the end goal will be to go into medical missions. Short-term, long-term - those skills will not be contained within the borders of Canada, and the developed world.

I shared about my term-project on AIDS in China. There is a missing link. I know of medical teams through MSI who head into the rural areas of China, and aid in community health, in education, to the people that I have a burden for. And I know of the orphanges, particularly those with AIDS orphans. I wonder if there is a link? I wonder if there is a way to reach these orphans as an undergraduate student possibly accompanying a medical team? But the thought that this is one of those lone-projects... where you aren't going with a bunch of other people your age... is certainly intimidating.

Following this thought process, I immediately fired an email to my dad for an MSI contact, and I searched the MSI website again - hoping to find something, an answer perhaps?

And I found this: http://msips.org/ArticlePrinter.asp?ArticleID=422, titled Grace and Gratitude by Dr. Matthew Koh.

"Thus, we seek 'to live a life worthy of the calling which we have received' (eph. 4:1)... he goes on to explain how vocation and calling are very much alike... 'thus, regardless of our source of income, or type of profession MSI colleagues are engaged in, we aim to model what our profession is - a confession of our faith, our vocation as calling. Our goal is to walk worthy of the calling we have received."

Dr. Koh continues to share about the rest of Ephesians, a book that, as you may know, I have become quite attached to this past half year, and wish to become even more familiar with the words the Lord has to reveal to me.

If I have set aside this summer to serve the Lord through medical missions, and to hear and listen to him, and grab opportunities to exhaust all possible ways to get there - I need to get off my lazy butt and take charge.

I look at my folder, all the favourite links I have saved up, and frown in disgust. I have become so distracted with thinking about doing research this summer, getting a job again, applications for certain positions, thinking how nice it'd be to get some cash, even looking at other opportuniteis for international volunteer work that is not directly affiliated with a Christian organization...

but in light of the Mongolian cross-cultural exchange mission trip... I have been struck by the fact that THIS is the prime time to be learning. THIS is the prime time to go and absorb the opportunity to figure out what I can handle, and confirm if medicine is where the Lord is leading. And so, what am I doing in NOT putting my full heart into exhausting all possibilities to achieve that goal right now? As my calling is as a Christian, Dr. Koh's insight into the relation between 'vocation' and 'calling', my calling is also in the 'vocation' that I will be in - and right now, I am contemplating medicine. And so I must live a life that is WORTHY of that calling, WORTHY of the vocation.

I chase after the Lord's heart. And in this chase, I pull out all the stops into meeting up to the requirements that come with a vocation as a doctor.

I cannot deny that I am in health sciences for a reason. It is not to merely teach. The Lord has more in store for me. There is more.

"In summary, for us, this is the call (vocation) for Christian professional service. God has chosen us, predestined and adopted us as His sons through Jesus Christ, and sealed us with the Holy Spirit." - based on Eph 1:4, 5, 13.