Transitions

transitions make you think.

where was i before?

where am i going now?

from studying like mad straight to the east full swing back to toronto ready to dive into memories that always come with reunions ready to make new memories with all the ppl i hold close huge massive wall of errands tasks things to do things to buy things to keep in mind things to look out for in preparation for the first week of school wait did someone say school SCHOOL in how many days totally not prepared to deal with that where did summer go or more like did i even have a summer missing the maritimes missing the time spent 24/7 with other typical families much like ours agonizing over the fun times that happened at home while i was gone and definitely not ready to step back into it all yet i gotta step SOMETIME back into it all in order to make that transition back to my studies but really when there is only a couple of days it is QUITE the challenge so i don't know where i'm going with all this except the lack of punctuation is precisely how lost my mind is right now and how not ready i am to step back into the swing of things PERIOD.

*whew*

one remaining week of a two-week summer.

BRING IT.

and THANK YOU guys for your huge support... i'm SO relieved it's ALL over. i praise God for friends like you - brothers and sisters at mcbc,T.O, Miss., ccf buds, everyone.. you guys rock. there's something about encouragements at the last stretch, a listening ear as i broke down, a card, e-cards out of the blue, long phone call the night before, helping me to literally get my mind onto something else when i needed it the most, topped off with two bottles of gatorade, a black pen, headphones, an energy bar with instructions on when to use it all that made me know that whatever happened on test day, it didn't matter. that i was as prepared as i could be, and had the hugest support that i could ever ask for. "he will bless abundantly!" it all just totally wiped away my fear of losing concentration halfway through the gruelling hours... you guys were there, you've been there from the start, and you were there to the finish. thank you so much. thank you so much for reminding me in the midst of the run to look back to the ultimate source of strength and hope.

the whole experience epitomizes what i've gone through in second year university. the humbling experience of knowing that your best is really just average. that your best is really, NOT the best, and frankly, could never be the best b/c of your own limitations.. limitations that are set in stone, that i cannot change no matter how hard i try to 'prepare things ahead of time to get the best advantage'. at the end of the day, it boils back to why i am doing what i am doing. and how i am doing what i am doing.

is it about me me me me me? am i doing it for my own satisfaction? and am i doing it based on my own strength? or am i completely surrendering it to someone who is far more capable of handling it?

and through you guys... the Lord pointed out this one particular verse which just resonated so much in the last two weeks:

"in repentance and rest will be your salvation
in quietness and trust will be your strength" - Isaiah 30:15

I thank the Lord for speaking through some of you who are reading this... b/c in little ways, your actions, your dedication to prayer, your regular checkups on how i am, spoke to me in BIG ways and helped set me on the right track when i had rathered skipped a little wayward from the path of discipline.

there's definitely a lot more that i'm just bursting to share... but i'll wait until i've gotten through this last week to fully reflect on the entire summer.

luvs to y'all!