After the brief session where we went over the past tests, I know I don't know my physiology well enough for this test. But at least it has shown me my weaknesses, and there is a certain pattern to these questions, that I hope I have gotten the hang of.
Tomorrow, my plan is to spend some sweet fellowship time with Victoria, and then, onto more studying:
- look over all the small group cases
- do the remaining physiology questions
- just keep flipping through lectures and reviewing the main diseases and what to look for when it comes to DDx.
I think I can do all that for tomorrow! I do have lots of time, and I also have my meals set already!
And now I just received word that Vics can't meet tomorrow, so maybe God IS giving me tons of time. i don't need to worry. He's got it ALL under control. I just have to trust and believe that He will get me through it. and that He can do what I believe is impossible. I just don't get it... i feel like i'll never catch onto some of these concepts quickly. I'm not very strong in equation-type things, although I really do love it.. i'm just terribly bad at it.
God - if this is meant to be, how come 1) i don't feel stressed? but 2) i feel very inadequate and 3) even though i feel like i've studied hard, my marks don't show it - how come i feel like i don't know how to really study?
am i distracted? perhaps. well, YES. i am.
but if i'm not distracted, then can i be sane and study so hard for my tests? i mean, MCATs already showed me that I'm not hardcore. i can only fit a certain amount in. It's liek I need an extra kick in the butt or supernatural motivation to study hard... and i need to learn how to study WELL. or at least in a way to pass these exams!
I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. nor do I know how to fix it and make it better.
So to that, whatever it means, I give it to you God.
I really don't know how to fix it. I really don't know how else to study. I don't really know what the 'formula' is to doing well. And every bad mark I get, I just feel worse.
Please don't let that get to me. Please help me find joy in what I do. Please help me find purpose as I go through these tests.
Thank you God.
In Jesus' name,
Amen
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